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Focusing on myself more often.

And no, that doesn’t mean becoming selfish. There’s a difference.

I need to go to rehab because I’m relapsing.

Even tho I’m fully aware of what happened, I just can’t help but to compare you to others. It sucks, but atleast I know what I want in a guy…I guess…..

I miss talking to you, so much.

(Source: blogsecret)

I believed

blogsecret:

in every lie that you told me. You told it so flawlessly, so truthfully. It pains me to know that I can be lied to and decieved so easily, I was so unaware. I’m really scared to trust anyone again. Thanks to you.

Kind of dreading having the house to myself.

I feel like I’m gonna feel the loneliest I’ve ever been…

This makes me realize how close I actually am to my parents and Adrian.

I started to miss Adrian the moment he kissed and hugged me goodbye ;(

THE HUNGER GAMES!!!!

WOOHOOOO!!!

It’s been months and I’m still like this…

Really??? -____- I needa do something with my life.

“Trust me, I won’t hurt you.”

BULLFUCKINGSHIT. IHATEYOU. IHATEYOU. IHATEYOU. IHATEYOU. IHATEYOU. IHATEYOU. IHATEYOU.

Okay, I’m done for today.

Not to sound selfish or anything but

I want someone to feel hurt because they realized they hurt me. I want them to feel sad because I’m sad. For once I want someone to say, ‘well if you’re happy, I’m happy.’ It’d be nice for once because it’d show how much they truly care.

Denial.

I’ll admit, I WAS in denial. I was denying that you were just using me and that it wasn’t the right time for you, but you really did like me. BUT WHO AM I FUCKING KIDDING, we only dated for about a month. I’m ignorant and stubborn for not believing everyone that told me I was being used and for defending your ass with every single excuse found possible. I’m stupid and naive for trusting and hanging on your every word, giving you the benefit of the doubt and not even questioning your motives. Yes, you ruined me, but I’m trying hard to no longer be bitter. Life goes on and waits for no one. I’m never wasting my time on a foolish fling ever again. I know the tattoo I’m gonna get is suppose to remind me to never give up on finding love, but that wasn’t anything close to love. I’m searching for love, not lust.

Lately, I’ve been doing exceptionally good.

Focusing on my classes and hanging out with close friends have kept my mind busy. Yet, no matter what, you still linger deep in the back of my mind. It’s like you’ve accidentally been placed in my subconscious and I have no clue how to get you out. Curiously while I was praying last night(which I do every night now), I asked God “I wonder what he’s up to in life. Where ever he’s at or doing, give him my blessing. And if he ever thinks about me from time to time, let me dream about him tonight.” Then I continued to ask God to bless others. I don’t exactly remember my dream from last night, but I know for a fact you were in it.

As I typed that last sentence, I’m realizing how stupid I’m starting to sound. Just because I had a dream, what am I thinking?! I really am starting to go just a little crazy. I bet you don’t give two fucks about me! Ha! Smh. Either that was a sign of God or I’m being stupid and obsessive. Okay I’m done here.